27 Reasons to Avoid Farmers Markets (Satire) Hot

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Eating local is all the rage right now. Still, there are plenty of reasons to avoid farmers' markets and roadside stands. If you can say—and believe—the following statements, don't be taken in by all the foodie hype!

  1. I prefer bland, tasteless food. Taste buds are best kept lulled and complacent. Like old-school vanilla before the French got hold of it.

  2. If farmers have faces—which I doubt—why would I want to look at them? Anonymity rules!

  3. I love factory-farmed meat, dairy, and eggs. All animals belong in little boxes.

  4. I love eating chemicals and pesticides. After all, if this stuff preserves food, it will preserve me, too. Won't it?

  5. The goal of living in community is to be like all the other neighborhoods in the world. We'd all be happier if we were homogenous.
    Diversity is a killer.

  6. I love GMO. One day I might sport gills like a fish or raise glow-in-the-dark rabbits. Could anything be cooler?

  7. I hate my neighbors and I hope they all lose their jobs and have to move away. Small local businesses are nothing but a pain.

  8. I like being ignored by my growers. Why would I want better service and people paying attention to my needs? Someone trying to understand makes me uncomfortable.

  9. Ignorance is bliss. I need to protect my kids from knowledge, fun, and health at any cost.

  10. I love paying the middleman. Why should farmers get actual wages when we could support commodity traders instead?

  11. I demand every fruit or vegetable to be the same size and shape as the next one and absolutely blemish free.

  12. I live for confusing labels. They keep my mind active.

  13. I adore excessive packaging. If I didn't have so much plastic to get rid of, how would I ever fill my garbage bins?

  14. I prefer to limit choices. Boredom is good; creativity is evil.

  15. I hate fun and the outdoors, preferring to stay within my four walls and doing the same things every day.

  16. I enjoy supporting economies in far-off places. My taxes shouldn't cover local needs. That's just selfish. We don't want to be selfish.

  17. I avoid antioxidants and phytonutrients. Such big words. Do you have any idea what they could do to you? Me either.

  18. I love being at the mercy of chain supermarkets, because I know they have my best interests at heart.

  19. I prefer sterile urban landscapes to farmland. Smog is a better inhalant than cow manure.

  20. I like to spend more money on food, especially if more fingers can get a piece of the pie. We all like pie. May I have lemon meringue made from a mix?

  21. With labeling, I don't need to think about what I eat. Who knows how many calories are in a zucchini? They can't be trusted.


    Everyone knows green smoothies are healthy, right? However…
    Have you heard of a “red” smoothie? If not, check out this true story…

    ---> “Red” Smoothie Helps Alabama Girl Shed 80lbs!


  22. I prefer elevator music to guys with guitars or fiddles. Wouldn't want to be exposed to anything like original music played by real people. Shudder.

  23. Why sniff real food when I can indulge in fake smells like an apple pie candle? Achoo.

  24. I'd rather eat fake sweeteners made of chemicals in factories than honey made by bees. Regurgitated pollen? Ew. That's gross.

  25. I want to suffer from fun things like cancer, heart disease or diabetes. Maybe I'll get to die young.

  26. I love seeing big reefer trucks on the highway. They make driving more of an adventure. Love it when semis tailgate me.

  27. I don't approve of seasons. Food is dumb if it can't figure out how to be grown 12 months of the year on all 6 continents. And in Antarctica, come to think of it.

If these statements represent your foodie opinions, run—don't walk—as far from your local farmers' market as you can get. If not, come join the fun! Beware: real food is addictive.

Editors note: Click here to Find a Local Farmer

A quick note from our founder-

Over the past year, my friend Dave at PaleoHacks has been working on a secret cookbook with world-renowned Le Cordon Bleu chef Peter Servold.

Well, today this new this new incredible Paleo Cookbook is finally available to be shipped right to your door for FREE

That's right -- as a special launch promotion, we're offering our brand new Paleo fat loss cookbook to you for free (Chef Pete lost 60 lbs using these recipes!) -- All you have to do is just cover a small shipping cost (international shipping is a bit more).

Get your FREE copy of Paleo Eats Here. (Grab this today, because we only ordered a small batch of these cookbooks for this freebie promotion, and they will sell out FAST!)

--> Get The Free Cookbook

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Turmeric Fights Inflammation and Cancer:

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"Turmeric is one of the Most Powerful Natural Medicines Known to Man"

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Do You Know Your Body’s Most Important Weight Loss Secret?

By J. Davis III

Category: HEALTH
Tags: HEALING | HEALTHY FATS | REMEDIES

trackingRecently, Doctor of Naturopathy, weight-loss expert and best-selling Amazon author Liz Swann Miller, creator of the Red Smoothie Detox Factor, revealed 2 of the secrets to easy, steady weight loss. Secrets the big food corporations do their best to hide from us.

Secret #1: Enjoy real food. Don’t fall for the lie that you have to deprive yourself to lose weight.

Secret #2: stop eating out. You will automatically eat less without even noticing.

Then start detoxing your body with tasty, nourishing smoothies that are just as easy on your wallet as they are easy to make.

Because a single day of enjoying Liz’ smoothies demonstrated the radical power of her superfood-packed red smoothies to make me feel incredibly good.

Now prepare yourself for one of the biggest weight loss secrets there is. A secret that, when you use it properly, can transform your body and your health.

You probably know most of us eat too much processed food. What you may not know is that it’s full of toxic chemicals and substandard, dirt-cheap ingredients designed to make you eat more…and force you to gain weight.

Here’s how it works...

“That stuff is just a lot of calories your body can’t use,” Liz told me, “Some are poison. And all these foods are stripped of the anti-oxidants and anti-inflammatories that help your body detox. The result? Your body expends huge amounts of calories to eliminate some toxins—the rest, it stores in your fat to protect you. This is why most people are hungry all the time. They’re not getting energy they need.”

“So… what’s going on with me? Why am I losing weight but not going hungry?”

Liz paused, then dropped the bombshell.

Your body is designed to burn fat. You just have to let it.

“What? I thought we were designed to store fat?!?” We were Skyping and I was practically shouting. Then I heard Liz say…

What good is a fat reserve if you can’t burn it?

Mind blown...

Liz continued: “You’re drinking smoothies packed with phytonutrients, anti-oxidants and anti-inflammatories that pull toxins out of you like a tractor beam. Allowing your body to burn those toxin-filled fat stores… and releasing tremendous amounts of stored energy.”

So that’s why I’m losing weight without going hungry.

Watch Liz’ free presentation. It’s packed with revolutionary weight loss information—information that works. Because it’s based on how nature works.

Click the button below only if you want to wear smaller clothes, breathe easier, move more freely and just plain feel better.

Because when you click here to watch Liz’ life-changing presentation, you’ll learn

  • Which calories help you lose weight…and which ones help you gain it…
  • The “diet” foods…some of them vegetables…that lead to weight gain and diabetes…
  • The “low-fat” foods that can dramatically increase your risk of cancer.
  • And the superfoods that rescue your body from this assault by detoxing you…

Revitalizing your metabolism so you can

Shed pounds as well as toxins, renew your body and reset your internal clock by up to 7 years.

For next the week only, Liz is offering the Red Smoothie Detox Factor at 50% off.

Because until now, the Red Smoothie Detox Factor has been available only to Liz’ private clients. But now that she’s perfected it to work for almost everyone, almost every time, Liz is sharing it with rest of us so we can feel better and look better.

So if you’re sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, do yourself a favor.

Get Red Smoothie Detox Factor before the price goes back up.

Because Liz offers a ridiculously good guarantee. You have 60 days to decide you love the Red Smoothie Detox Factor. If you don’t love it—for any reason, or even no reason at all —Liz will refund your money. 100%. No questions asked.

So go watch her presentation and get the Red Smoothie Detox Factor.

 

---> Learn more: Red Smoothie Detox


Natural Diabetes Treatment Works Better Than Prescription Drugs *PROOF*

By Richard Neal

Category: HEALTH
Tags: HEALING | REMEDIES | PREVENTION

According the latest statistics, diagnosed and undiagnosed diabetes in the United States is reaching epidemic levels:

Total: 29.1 million people or 9.3% of the population have diabetes.

Diagnosed: 21.0 million people.

Undiagnosed: 8.1 million people (27.8% of people with diabetes are undiagnosed).

Source: CDC Website

Drugs Treat Symptoms, Not Disease

Pharmaceutical companies have been trying to shut these doctors down simply for revealing the truth about diabetes.

Scientific studies have proven that type 2 diabetes can be reversed naturally - but this information has been hidden and suppressed for decades.

Diabetics can normalize blood sugar, and be taken off all medication and insulin injections completely naturally.

Doctors at the International Council for Truth in Medicine are revealing the truth about diabetes in a shocking new online presentation.

In 3 Weeks, 71% Type 2 Diabetics Were Taken off ALL Medication

96% of patients were able to stop all insulin injections and 81% achieved complete relief of painful neuropathy.

Groundbreaking research published by the University of Kentucky, University of California and Newscastle University prove that type 2 diabetes CAN be reversed.

Blood sugar normalizes... neuropathy pain goes away...

Doctors at the International Council for Truth in Medicine have perfected these techniques and helped tens of thousands of their patients end the need for medication and insulin injections 100% naturally.

You don't have to suffer anymore, Learn the truth about your diabetes and stop this disease dead in its tracks right now.

Groundbreaking New Research

Doctors at the International Council for Truth in Medicine are revealing the truth about diabetes that has been suppressed for over 21 years.

Last year they helped over 17,542 type 2 diabetics end the need for prescription drugs, insulin injections and blood sugar monitoring.

This year they're on track to help over 30,000.

In just a few weeks, 96% of their patients are able to stop ALL diabetes medication and insulin injections.

No more neuropathy pain, pricking your finger, or the need for expensive medication.

Learn about this groundbreaking new research here:

 

---> Learn more about this Natural Diabetes Treatment


#1 muscle that eliminates joint and back pain, anxiety and looking fat

By J. Davis III

Category: HEALTH
Tags: HEALING | PREVENTION

I bet you can’t guess which muscle in your body is the #1 muscle that eliminates joint and back pain, anxiety and looking fat.

This “hidden survival muscle” in your body will boost your energy levels, immune system, sexual function, strength and athletic performance when unlocked.

If this “hidden” most powerful primal muscle is healthy, we are healthy.

posture.jpg

Is it:

a) Abs

b) Chest

c) Glutes

d) Hip Flexors

Take the quiz above and see if you got the correct answer!

P.S. Make sure you check out the next page to get to know the 10 simple moves that will bring vitality back into your life!

==> Click here to discover which “hidden survival muscle” will help you boost your energy levels, immune system, sexual function, strength and athletic performance permanently!

 

--> Find out the “hidden” most power survival muscle here…


More Health Resources:
  1. "Red" Smoothie Helps Alabama Girl Shed 80lbs!
  2. Thе Fastest Wау Tо Lose Weight In 4 Weeks
  3. #1 muscle that eliminates joint and back pain, anxiety and looking fat
  4. Your Birth Date + Name - Free Report
  5. The "Instant Switch" Law Of Attraction
  6. The 3 reasons you should NEVER eat wheat -- Yes, even "whole wheat"
  7. [PROOF] Reverse Diabetes with a “Pancreas Jumpstart”
  8. Why Some People LOOK Fat that Aren't
  9. Diabetes Destroyer System
  10. His wife REFUSED to let them amputate his legs!
  11. Unlock Your Hip Flexors
  12. Doctors Reversed Diabetes in Three Weeks

 

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